The Root of the SeeD (FF8): Chapter 3

From upstairs, Squall heard the front door slam shut and the building fall quiet. He reckoned Raine and Ellone had left. That was an opportunity he had to seize. Walk out, find a discreet spot and focus on Linoa so she could find him. He waited for a couple minutes to make sure they weren't coming back right away, then walked down.

"Raine didn't warn me they were leaving. She must assume I'm sleeping, though it must also mean they won't be gone long. Not long enough for me to reach Linoa. I have to hurry, but not rush."

On the off chance that Ellone was still here, he made sure to walk down slowly and quietly, although the creaky stairway still gave away his presence. "Dammit, I would make a poor spy," he thought. "My area of expertise always was more in combat than stealth."

Thankfully, nobody took notice of him, which confirmed that he was alone. He made his way towards the entrance, reached for the doorknob and the door opened before he even had time to touch it. Raine gasped as she saw the young man dodge backwards to avoid getting hit by the door.

"Ah! Rock! You're up already?" she asked.

"Yes. I wasn't all that sleepy so I figured, you know, I might as well go for a walk. Get some sun," Squall answered.

"Are you sure it is wise, though? I mean, the last time you tried that, you collapsed."

"Well I'm not going to stay in your house forever, am I?"

"Hm. Fair enough," Raine replied with a smirk. "But until we can get a doctor to have a look at you, I insist to accompany you, just in case."

Squall struggled to hide his frustration "Dammit, no!" he told himself. "I have to find a way to get away from her." He put on an unconvincing smile before going back to his mother:

"Thanks for the offer but I'll be alright, mo- ma'am. I feel a lot better already."

Raine shook her head in disapproval.

"Sorry but I really can't let you go on your own. I know it may not seem like a small, quiet village like this would be dangerous, but between the dodgy paths and the monster attacks, it's not safe to walk around alone these days. And that's without taking into account whatever you have."

Squall realized there was no point in arguing. Evidently, stubbornness ran in the family. He would have to find another way to be on his own. Something felt odd, though, in that he was somewhat happy that his plans kept getting foiled.

"Well, this is my one opportunity to be with my mother," he remarked to himself. "It's probably not going to happen again. Might as well enjoy it while it lasts. Wait, what am I thinking? I can't get complacent. This isn't just about me; I can't just walk around a timeline I don't belong in like that."

Either way, he had to keep up appearances for now so he reluctantly accepted Raine's proposal, much to her delight.

As they exited Raine's pub, Squall considered bolting and finding the nearest hiding spot, but he felt that was a bit unsubtle and would only motivtae her more to find him. Besides, there were villagers around who would no doubt tell her immediately where he went, and the whole thing would just draw more attention to himself.

Raine closed the door without bothering to lock it. "So where would you like to go, Rock?"

Squall tried to remember Winhill from the one time he had seen it through Laguna's eyes but he couldn't recall much. That connection didn't last long and Laguna had only been through a small section of the town, giving the area a quick look to make sure there wasn't any monster around, not really stopping anywhere.

"I don't know, I've never been here before. Why don't we just walk around and if there's anything of interest, you can show me?"

"Alright, works for me." Raine agreed.

If nothing else, this would give Squall an opportunity to recon the town. It might come in handy later. They started walking towards the bridge leading downtown while trying to ignore the inquiring looks they got from the locals, when Squall noticed that something was amiss.

"Say, where is your daughter?" he asked.

"Oh, I put her to bed, it's time for her nap," she answered.

"Doesn't she sleep in your house?"

"Not always. A bar isn't exactly the best place for a child's sleep, especially in the evening, when there's a lot of patrons. So I often have her sleep in the neighbouring house. Plus, since I thought you were resting there, I didn't want to disturb you."

Squall smiled slightly at how caring his mother could be, even to someone who, from her point of view, was a complete stranger. Raine continued:

"And besides, I think Ellone just likes it better there."

"Yeah?" asked Squall with surprise.

"Yeah. I'll spare you the details but Ellone isn't my biological daughter, and that house was her parents'. I would have thought for sure she would never have wanted to go there again, but actually she seems to love it. I suppose it does make sense. It's one of the few memories she has of them."

One image of Winhill that had burnt itself in Squall's mind was the bullet holes in the walls of Ellone's home, and how he could feel Laguna's stomach tighten when he glanced at them. And yet, Ellone seemed to pay no mind to them. This was her home and Esthar couldn't take that away from her.

"When you've found a place that makes you feel comfortable, it's hard to let go of it," Squall replied. He could relate.

"True. It's probably why I stay here as well, to the bafflement of all the old people," Raine said with a slight chuckle. "How about you, Rock? Do you have a place like that?"

Squall grimaced, trying to think of ways to bring up his experience with Balamb Garden without talking about something that doesn't exist yet.

"Sort of. But I think in my case, it's more about the people around me. The thing is, I don't get along with most people, but if I have the few that make me feel confident around me, I feel at home anywhere."

"Rock! That's beautiful!" Raine said excitedly. "Are you sure you don't want to start making your own music? You certainly sound like you've got the heart for it."

Much to his own surprise, Squall was starting to find his situation increasingly enjoyable. They kept walking and stopped by a grassy area where wild chocobos were roaming around, with a forest not far fom there. "Linoa would love this," Squall thought, leaning against the dilapidated wooden fence that failed to mark the border between Nature and Man's territory.

"Alright, let's continue,"Raine said before she started walking again, not noticing Squall wasn't immediately following.

"This is the chance I've been looking for," Squall reflected. "I could let her go ahead while I quietly walk towards the forest. By the time she realizes I'm not with her any more, I'll have reached the forest and I'll be able to help Linoa find me. Yeah, that's what I'll do."

A moment passed while he stayed immobile against the fence. He sighed and went back on the road.

"I can't just sneak away like a thief. She's been taking such good care of me even though she didn't have to, the least I can do is finish this walk with her," and so he went back on the road and caught up to her.

"Getting lost in the beauty of the countryside?" Raine teased.

"You could say that."

They walked past a flower shop where Raine explained that she often buys seeds from, and that she occasionally sells them her own flowers. Squall had no interest in the subject, and yet he was hanging to every word she said.

Finally, they reached downtown, although Winhill's idea of a downtown wasn't the same as the bustling cities Squall was used to. There were a few shops, marginally more habitations than everywhere else, and a chapel.

"Oh! While we're here, do you mind if I go get some groceries?" Raine asked.

"Not at all," Squall answered. "I think I'll just look around in the meantime."

"Alright, but don't got too far. You never know."

"Of course not," Squall said. "Goodbye, miss Leonhart."

Squall watched her walk inside the store, feeling uneasy as he knew what had to happen next. "No more hesitation. This is where my mother and I go our separate ways." He figured the chapel would be the quietest spot and made his way towards it.

He pushed the wooden door and as he suspected, he found the chapel empty. It was almost noon, everyone was busy with their more down to earth business. He would probably have enough time to do what he had to do. He took a quick glance to make sure there wasn't anyone he didn't miss than set down on a bench, and closed his eyes to focus.

'Linoa... if you can hear me, this is Squall. I'm still not sure how you found me during the time compression, but I hope you can sense me. I am in the past, Li-"

His call was interrupted by the sound of a door creaking open. Squall couldn't believe his bad luck. "Even assuming the people of Winhill are very religious, surely there can't be more than two people a day who visit this chapel, and I am one of them. Who could this be?"

He turned towards the direction of the sound and saw a priest enter from a side door. "Guess I should have seen that coming." From the corner of his eye, Squall caught the priest turn towards him, and so he closed his eyes again to look deep in religious fervour and avoid an uncomfortable discussion.

"Dammit, I can't keep going," Squall thought. "I can't even begin to imagine the public reaction and the tabloid headlines if a priest saw a winged woman suddenly appear in a ball of light in a chapel. Alright. Think, Squall. Where could I go where no-one could find me?"

He thought about trying the forest but in retrospect, he wasn't sure it was such a good idea. There could be monsters in there. And that's assuming the chocobos aren't in a bad mood. "Hang on a second," Squall told himself. "The pub! Of course! Ellone is sleeping in her parents' house, so it's empty right now. And Raine didn't lock the door."

Squall waited for the priest to leave, but once it became obvious that it wasn't going to happen, he got up and walked towards the door.

"It is good to see young people connect with their faith!" The priest said proudly from a small distance.

"Um... yeah," was all Squall could come up with. He hurriedly exited the edifice before the priest could start the waterfall of questions Squall expected to come next.

"Ha! There you are!" said a now familiar voice, startling him. He turned towards the sound to find Raine with a smile on her face bag full of groceries in her arms. "I was beginning to worry when I didn't see you around. I wouldn't have pegged you for the religious type."

"I'm really not, I just like historical buildings." Squall replied. "Want me to help you with that?" he added, nodding towards the bag.

"No thanks," answered Raine. "As strong as you look, you fainted from talking earlier, so I'd rather not risk it. I appreciate the offer, though."

Squall knew he should have been angrier than he was that his plan was foiled, but he didn't manage to get mad when he saw his mother's soothing smile. Laguna and Ellone kept bringing it up and he could see why now. They started to make their way back towards the town square and Raine started another conversation:

"Stop me if I'm wrong, but you're kind of the loner type, aren't you?" asked Raine, trying to be delicate about it.

"I get that a lot," Squall replied.

"Yeah, I couldn't help but notice that you always seem to be looking for excuses to be alone. Not that it's a problem, mind you. It's just so unusual to me. It's kind of fascinating to me," she commented.

"It is?" Squall asked with a slight chuckle.

"Well, yeah. Then again, it's probably because this is such a small village. You gotta keep in mind, everyone knows each-other here and we're often together, none of us really ever does their own thing in their own corner."

Squall didn't reply, so she continued.

"It's odd because you'd think it'd be harder to get some privacy in the big city, where there's more people and it's always so crowded. But at the same time, I guess you can just blend in the crowd and since most people don't know you, it's easier to be on your own. And you know, I love living in a place where the neighbours feel like an extended family but at the same time, I guess it would be kind of nice every once in a while to get away from it all and have a moment to be all..."

She turned her head towards Squall but she couldn't see him in her field of vision. She spun around and realized he wasn't around any more.

"... alone."

Back downtown, Squall had his head down, his back hunched and his hands in his pockets. He hated that this is how he was leaving but he couldn't afford to spend much more time there. He looked around and turned a corner, hoping to find a quite corner where he was sure no-one would see him.

Raine arrived near a shop, panting from having sprinted there. She saw another villager sitting on a bench and turned to him.

"Hey, Phil! Have you seen a young man with a big scar across his face around here?"

"Sure, I did," he answered. "He went through Mendell Street," he explained, pointing towards where Squall had gone. "What's wrong?"

"I don't know," replied Raine. "I have no idea what's wrong with him, but it can't be good."

In a dark alley, Squall was getting ready to try and get to Linoa again, when he heard Raine's voice. "Rock! Where are you?".

"Shit. Didn't expect her to catch up so soon," Squall muttered to himself. He quickly ran in a random direction, not realizing that Raine saw him as he passed a street.

"Rock! Wait! I just want to help!" she yelled as she went after him. He was fast though and despite knowing the village well, by the team she reached the bridge leading outside of the village and crossing over a river, he was nowhere to be seen. She called to Rock. In vain. She could do nothing but lean against the guardrail, confused and worried.

Just below, Squall was standing on a walkway, hidden from sight by the bridge itself. He heard Raine's footsteps slowly walk away. "Good," he thought. "I shouldn't be interrupted any more, and finally I can go back to my time." He sat down and once again, closed his eyes and tried to focus.

It wasn't working. He couldn't focus. His mind wasn't clear. Everything about this felt wrong. "What am I doing?" Squall asked himself. "Fate has given me this one chance to be with my mother and what do I do with it? I'm running away from her. Making her worry needlessly. For the love of... she has less than two years left to live, and about a third of it is going to be spent worrying herself about either Ellone, Laguna or both. Is this really what I want my one moment with her to be like?"

He walked towards a flight of stairs to get back to the town's entrance. He looked for her inside the town and found her sitting on a run-down piece of stone wall. She was sobbing and so upset she didn't notice him.

"Rock... Why are you avoiding me like that? Why won't you talk to me? What kind of trouble are you in that you have to run away from me?"

Squall hadn't felt this bad in years.

"Oh, good going, Squall," he reprimanded himself. "Your one time with your mom and you make her cry."

He too was getting teary-eyed as he approached her.

"M-miss Leonhart?" he called sheepishly, startling Raine.

"Rock!" she exclaimed. "W-where have you been? Why were you running away like that? Are people after you? Is that why you won't tell me what happened to you yesterday? Please, if you're in danger or something, you have to tell me. I can help. Trying to face it on your own will just make things worse."

Squall was at a loss for word. Even after the way he had treated her, she wanted nothing more than to make sure he was safe. He wanted to tell her everything right here and then and he was devastated that he couldn't.

"It's not that, but..." he didn't get to finish that sentence, not that he had thought of a way to finish it, as a loud screech came towards them. They both turned their head and saw a large Thrustaevis dive towards them. Squall grabbed Raine and made her dodge out of the way. He saw the creature rise up and prepare a second attack.

The beast lunged towards Squall, who reached for his gunblade, finding nothing but air as he hadn't expected to need his weapon for a simple magic exercise. Fortunately, he always had a few spells stocked just in case and with a motion of the hand, he cast Fire on the flying monster, turning it to ashes.

Squall turned towards his mother and went to grab her arm to help her up, but she jerked it away. Squall stared at her in disbelief as she was getting back up, looking livid.

"Just who the Hell are you, Rock?" she groaned. "You come out of nowhere, you conveniently don't remember where you've been, you keep making up lies about your past, you avoid me and now it turns out you know para-magic, the technique developed by Esthar."

Squall took a step back and rose his hands defensively. "What is she saying?" he asked himself in a panic. "She's not seriously suggesting..."

"The last time Estharian soldiers set foot in the village, they tried to take Ellone and killed her parents," Raine said, in the sort of calm tone that suggests barely contained fury. "Are you one of them? Are you here to spy on us? To help them take Ellone?"

She took deliberately slow steps as she hammered her questions. Squall backed away with each one. He couldn't believe this was happening, that his mother thought he was a threat.

"Wha... I... no!" Squall stammered. "Please, I need you to believe me. I am not with Esthar and I would never want any harm to come to you, Ellone or anyone else here."

Raine, while still boiling inside, started to show some hesitation. Even though everything told her not to trust the young man, something deep within her was begging to believe he was honest.

"I would love to believe you, Rock, but it's getting very difficult. Why should I trust you when, let's not kid ourselves, you can't even give me your real name?" she pressed him.

"Think about it, miss Leonhart!" Squall implored. "If I wanted to take Ellone away, why would I come back to you? Why would I protect you? Why would I stay away from her instead of grabbing her and running away?"

Raine stopped and buried her face into her hands. He was right, and she figured that if he were an Estharian spy, he would have prepared a less clumsy cover. And most importantly, if he were, she would already be dead. And as anger left, sadness returned.

"But then..." Raine said, fighting back the tears. "But then why? Why are you acting that way?"

Squall looked down to the ground, loathing the fact he couldn't just tell her.

"I wish I could tell you," he answered. "But in this case the truth is less believable than any lie."

"Okay," Raine said with a sniff. "Fine, I don't want to force you to tell me your secrets. But there is one thing I need to know. And I want you to answer me honestly."

"I promise I will," Squall replied.

"Are you in danger?"

"No, no I'm not," Squall said without hesitation. "I can't say everything is going as I expected, but I'm not in danger."

"You're not saying that just so I don't get involved, are you?" she asked, planting her steely blue eyes straight into Squall's.

"I swear to you, I am not."

"So do you actually remember what you're doing here?" She continued.

"It's still confusing, even to me. All I can really tell you is that..." he paused to look for the right words. "I am looking for someone."

As he said that, his eyes were drawn to a white feather softly descending from the sky.

"I take it you haven't found them?" Raine asked with genuine concern.

"No, I haven't" Squall answered while letting the feather fall into his hand. "But I'm getting the feeling she found me."

"Really?"

"Yeah, and that means I'm gonna have to leave," Squall said. "To be where I belong, with the people I belong."

"Oh," Raine let out, looking apologetic. "Well in that case, I'm glad all is well that ends well. And I'm sorry about my reaction."

"Don't be," Squall responded. "I wasn't straight with you and I can't blame you for wanting to keep your little girl safe, especially considering what you've told me."

Raine smiled, slightly embarrassed.

"She's not really my little girl, you know," she rectified.

"I'm not sure that's how she sees it," Squall replied, smiling back.

"Look, before I leave, I'd like to do something to thank you for taking care of me, even when I tried to prevent you from doing so, and to apologize for making you worry," he continued. "How about I treat you to dinner, tonight? Ellone can come too."

Raine looked back at him with surprise.

"I would love that!" She exclaimed.

"Great, I only ask one favour: I need to be alone for an hour or so." Squall added. "It's important for me to contact the person I'm looking for."

Raine was confused by what he had just said but at this point, she decided not to question it any more.

"Alright, if that helps," she acquiesced. "You can have the living room above the pub for yourself. Just tell me when you're done."

"Thank you. Thank you so much!"

They made their way back to the pub in a peaceful, enjoyable silence. As promised, Raine left him to do whatever it is he had to do, taking the opportunity to go check on Ellone. Squall went up the stairs, sat on the bed he had woken up in, took the feather in his hand and closed his eyes.

"Linoa? Can you hear me?" he called.

"Squall?"

He could barely hear her voice, as if she was far away.

"Squall!" it was getting closer. "I finally found you! I was so worried!"

"Me too, Linoa", Squall replied. "It's so good to hear you again."

"I'm so sorry about all this, Squall," Linoa said. "I'll take you back to our time right away!"

"Actually, I know this this a weird thing to ask, but can it wait?" Squall requested. There was an uncomfortable silence.

"What? Why?" Linoa asked, baffled by what her knight was saying.

"Linoa, do you know where I am? And more relevantly, when I am?" Squall asked her.

"Not really. I just know I sent you back in time," Linoa admitted with shame.

"I am in Winhill, twenty years ago." Squall explained.

"Oh," was all she could say as she was beginning to piece together what was going on.

"Yeah. And I met my mother."

"Oooooh," she went as she got the confirmation of her suspicion.

"So I don't want to just leave like that. I have to do this right." Squall continued. "I know I've already been gone for a long time, and I promise it won't be long."

"Actually, from our point of view, it's only been a couple minutes," Linoa retorted. "Didn't stop us form being worried sick, but I can't prevent you from saying your mother goodbye. Just make sure to hold on to my feather so I can locate you when you're ready."

"Thank you, Linoa," Squall said. "You have no idea how much this means to me."

He opened his eyes, back to his reality. He got up from bed to get ready to give his mother the farewell she deserved.